The Elmo Experiment

There were three "kid things" that annoyed me as a childless adult that I silently vowed to avoid once I had kids. One was Barney (so far, so good), one was the "Wheels on the Bus" song (which I grew to like because Caleb likes it so much), and the last was Elmo - who is so appealingly red that I imagine most kids cannot resist his squeaky little voice. Mine certainly cannot. So we have two Elmos.

This is our first Elmo. His name is Softeye Elmo ...because his eyes are soft... And he is no favorite with Caleb. He says two things about this Elmo - either, "This one is Annalise's Elmo" or "Give it to Goodwill!"

Personally, I like Softeye Elmo better than our other Elmo, which Caleb has named "Baby Elmo" (I like to call him Hardeye Elmo.). He is not always fatherly, but when Caleb is in the right mood, he will take one of his favorite stuffed friends and care for it lovingly all day long - putting it down for naps, defending it from any rogue dolls, letting me know when it feels sick, etc.

So one day we were going to a restaurant for lunch and Caleb had Hardeye Elmo with him. Caleb said, "I want to bring some food out from the restaurant and put it in Baby Elmo's mouth and see what happens!"

I thought for a second before I answered him and then decided, "Well after we eat, if there is something that is not greasy or oily or crumbly or sticky or juicy or drippy or melty or sugary, you can bring it out and put it in his mouth and see what happens."

As it happened, one of our plates had a small piece of orange as garnish. Caleb ate all of the fruit off the rind and it was bone dry. I looked it over and decided it met the standard. He took it out to Elmo and shoved it in his mouth. A second later, I jostled him around to get him lined up right in his carseat and Elmo tipped to the side and the rind fell out of his mouth and behind Caleb - all without Caleb noticing. Then Caleb picked the toy up and peered in his mouth and declared, "He ate it!"