One issue I did not foresee in having children was my title to their friends. When I was a kid, since my mom worked at a school and I had to call all those people Mr. and Mrs. Last Name anyway, that's what I called them. For church ladies, I'd call them Miss First Name. Made sense to me! I am ok with Miss First Name. I think just plain first name is a little too familiar, but maybe I'm just a country girl at heart.
In our playgroup families, at least two of the moms have made it clear that they want their kids to say Mrs. Last Name, and because one of those moms has the oldest children, we've all sort of followed her lead and have the kids call us Mrs. Last Name. Today we visited a friend and Annalise was repeating me and called my friend by her first name, so I corrected her to say Mrs. Last Name. My friend was kind of surprised - because she expected her daughter to just call her friends by their first names. Then this afternoon, we were outside playing with some neighbor kids and a little girl (named Abby) asked me what my name was. I told her my full name and that I did not know what her mom expected her to call me, but that Caleb's friends call me Mrs. Robbins. She wrinkled her nose and said, "I don't like that name. I'm going to call you Abby."
So please add your 2 cents - is there a right way and a wrong way? - and if there is a right way, what's right about it?
Abby... ha! I particularly like the Ms. first name better than last names unless they are over the age of say, 80. I'm going to have Gwen say Ms. First name unless they specify differently. I don't think there is a right and wrong in this.. just preference. I DO however, think it is good to have a term of respect so they know they are not their "buddies". I don't know why adults aren't into the whole Mr. and Mrs. thing. It's like the whole thing of yes ma'am too. I think I will ask Gwen to say "yes, thank you" and "no, thank you" instead of ma'am. Not against it per say... just doesn't sound natural for a little kid to me.
ReplyDeleteI like "yes ma'am", and I particularly prefer it to "Why?" when I ask Caleb to do something! ;)
ReplyDeleteRon & Rob's parents were very good about instilling respect for adults in their kids. Other than teachers or pastors, I don't remember thinking about it much when I was growing up.
ReplyDeleteWith our kids, we usually start with Mr. or Mrs. Last Name, unless we know them really well or are asked not to be so formal. If we know them well, we call them Mr. or Miss First Name. We try not to let the kids address an adult by their first name unless that adult specifically says it's ok. Likewise I think it's important for the kids to use Aunt/Uncle titles, too, which is another thing Ron's family is good about but I don't remember paying much attention to.
Tyler especially has a tendency to get too familiar, and I think using a title like this helps keep him "in his place" a little better.
i think you're splittin' hairs sis, i mean Abby.. :)
ReplyDeleteWell Brian, I can understand why you would think this is not a big deal :) But I think it's a confusing thing for little kids (and their moms) when some people get offended at them being too formal and others who think they are not formal enough.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you asked this question and I'm glad to read about what others think. I think it's probably better to err on the side of "too respectful/formal". So I want to teach my kids to start with "Mr/Mrs Lastname" as Lori said. Then they can transition to "Mr/Mrs Firstname" if the adult requests. Here in Alabama, I don't think anyone is offended by the titles. I think I'll resist letting my kids call an adult by their first name, even if the adult says it's OK!! Abby, that's hilarious.
ReplyDeleteAll of you young mothers are making me proud! Respect is oft forgotten or ignored in our society today. While addressing adults as Mr/Mrs/Ms may seem a small thing, it is a step in instilling a healthy respect for authority and can never be a bad thing.
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